My Hallelujah

For some time now, I have been struggling to write about what it's like to identify oneself as both Christian and lesbian.  These terms are not mutually exclusive; in fact, these two parts of my identity complement each other to make me, me.  But darned if the dearest things aren't also the hardest to write about.  My attempts to put my faith into words have resulted in reflections and ramblings that I don't want to impose upon you, dear readers.  Instead, I'll be succinct: God and I are on good terms.  We have made our peace.  Like everyone, I've got my stuff to fix.  It's just that lesbianism isn't part of that stuff.

In fact, the experience of being in a loving, committed relationship has deepened my understanding of the big concepts of spirituality: faith, grace, forgiveness, unconditional love.  By entering into a covenant relationship with Danielle, I get to participate in a microcosm of the "I- Thou" relationship between God and Creation.  That's pretty heady stuff, actually.  Therefore, instead of posting my teenage-diary-like prose about a grown-up topic, I am enclosing the lyrics to a song a wrote for Danielle.  Sometimes poetry and music can go where sentences cannot, and this song is my best attempt to capture in writing my love for God and for my wife.

You're My Hallelujah

Where two or more are gathered, they say God is found
But I don't need a scripture to know that I'm on sacred ground
You come to me as gift, as lover and as friend
You're my hallelujah, you're my amen.

God loves without condition, something I don't understand
But I'm learning to receive it from your extended hand
You teach me about grace as you forgive time and again
You're my hallelujah, you're my amen

I will raise my hands in praise
for all that I've been given
Each time we love selflessly
We get a glimpse of heaven

Sometimes love is easy.  Other times, it's toil.
But we have made a miracle out of seeds and sweat and soil
We're learning about faith as devotedly we tend
You're my hallelujah, you're my amen

I will raise my hands in praise
for all that I've been given
Each time we love selflessly
We get a glimpse of heaven


Where two or more are gathered, they say God is found
Journeying beside you, I stand on sacred ground
You come to me as gift, as lover and as friend
You're my hallelujah, you're my amen


You're my hallelujah
You're my hallelujah
You're my hallelujah
You are my amen.